In a recent article I mentioned that there are five obstacles to negotiating on your own behalf. We’re inclined to get too emotional and to react to offers personally instead of professionally. Add to this the fact that we’re more likely to spoil the deal with impatience, a lack of objectivity, and inexperience in negotiation encounters, and you bring to life that adage about lawyers that represent themselves in court.
“They have fools for clients,” or so conventional wisdom says.
Despite the fact that negotiating for your own account is tricky and perilous, most of us will be doing quite a lot of it during our lives.
When we walk into car dealerships or call leasing companies, we’re negotiating. When we rent or buy housing, we’re doing the same, whether Realtors are part of the mix, or not.
And anyone who has children can tell you that negotiations with them begin in gestation, when you circumscribe travel plans, dedicate space to your new family members, and select their names.
I happen to be somewhat iconoclastic in believing that negotiating is an acquired taste, it’s something at which we can become connoisseurs, providing we get into the kitchen, roll-up our sleeves, and concoct deals for ourselves.
Here are five tips for mastering the psychology of negotiating on your own behalf:
(1) Do your research. Who is your counterpart? What’s his or her title and latitude of authority? Is this person a peer, a fellow business owner, homeowner, or someone on par with you, or is she a flunky, someone who can say maybe or no, but not yes? If you’re not sure, ask up front. Because you are a PRINCIPAL you’re a heavyweight and you have every right to determine whether the person in the ring with you is in your class.
(2) You don’t have to say yes during the negotiation. Always give yourself an “out,” saying you need to check with your lawyer, your spouse, or even your “team,” back at headquarters, to get their input and feedback. I’ve dealt with CEO’s that do this all the time, and sure enough, they may want to do business with me but they line their ducks up to gum me to death on the details.
(3) Make sure you have viable alternatives in your pocket. Mentioning that you’re going to receive bids from others, or that you need to make a good arrangement or none at all can alert your counterpart to the fact that you’re not NEEDY.
(4) Don’t be worn down by so-called “tiger teams” or negotiating committees. If you’re facing more than a single person at a time, invite them to chat among themselves and then to appoint a single individual, invested with deal making authority, to conduct business.
(5) Set a deadline for each meeting. Tell your counterparts, “I have an hour, so let’s see what we can do.” Deadlines create efficiency and there is pressure to consummate a deal before the sands of time run out.
Most negotiation consultants will tell you that principals tend to make poor negotiators because they care too much about making a deal, not wasting time, and about not offending the other party.
If you look at negotiation as a game, a challenge, and as a fact finding opportunity and learning experience, instead of as a must-win situation, you’ll care, but not too much.
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